The Things I Gave Up

1.
I will not settle for lack of words.

I AM NOT A WORD
I AM NOT A SENTENCE ON A BLANK PAGE
I AM A PERSON
AN ENCYLOPEDIA DRIPPING WITH AGE
I AM CONSTANTLY BEING UPDATED
RE-EDITED
I AM THE EDITOR,
THERE IS NO WHITE INK HERE
THERE ARE NO DOUBTS TO THESE FACTS HERE
AND HOW DARE YOU TRY TO EDIT ME
LESS CURSE WORDS
MORE GOOD THOUGHTS
AND SO YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD CHANGE
AND SO YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD
READ
AND SUCK AWAY THE MEANING
BUILT BY THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PENS
CREASED MILLIONS OF FOREHEADS
LICKED UP MILLIONS OF TEARS
SAILED MILLIONS DOWN THE RIVER
BUILT PEOPLE TO SHOW PEOPLE TO KNOW PEOPLE TO SHOW THAT WE ARE
PEOPLE
WE ARE PEOPLE!
WE ARE- JUST- PEOPLE.
AND WE ARE ALL THAT IS PEOPLE.
WE ARE ALL THAT IT IS TO BE HUMAN
ALL THAT IT IS TO BE HUMAN TO BE WORDS
TO BE CONFIGURED AND STUCK TOGETHER BY WORDS
THAT ARE CREATED IN THE PITS OF OUR STOMACHS
AND PUMPED THROUGH THE WOUNDS OF OUR HEARTS
AND WORDS
WORDS ARE STUCK IN THE KNOTS OF MY SHOELACES,
FALL FROM THE FOLLICLES OF MY HAIR
AND WORDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE SCREAMING
WHERE THE FUCK DID WE GO WRONG?
DON'T RUB YOUR WRISTS TOGETHER
MAKE FRICTION AND TELL ME
YOU'VE CAUGHT MY SCENT
DON'T CRUMBLE PICTURES IN YOUR FISTS
AND TELL ME YOU KNOW JUST WHAT MY SKIN FEELS LIKE
YOU KNOW WHAT MY SKIN FEELS LIKE
MY SKIN FEELS LIKE
PEELING

2.

I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR LACK OF WORDS.

There are many spaces on my walls that haven't been filled; I feel that someday, they will talk to me and tell me what they'd like to represent them and there's and maybe someday they will be able to tell me the roads they've walked and the families they've started and maybe behind that I'll smell the rot of the concrete and know that one day, one day, a long long time ago, these grains were in the eye of a friend who no longer likes Napoleon because of his terrible taste in clothing; so the grains would will themselves to be flicked away from the forgotten man's tear duct and decided to sail away with the tides just so that they could be here, listening to me now, holding up my walls while I try to hold up mine, while I lick the linens and try to get a taste out of something; anything.